i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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