just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
