It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
