dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Rumble strips road head = magical
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
