I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
