I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
