you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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