just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
My balls are so social today.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
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