i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
