So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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