Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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