How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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