well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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