My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
