Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Well I just put wine in my tea
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
