A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
