i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
