you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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