Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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