Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Even my vagina gasped.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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