Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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