it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
