i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
