hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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