Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
