Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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