Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
