And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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