My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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