i don't like sucking hair
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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