out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
