she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
