She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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