i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
