I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Dick very happy bro
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
