My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
