WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
