I wish i was in the wii world.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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