A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
