i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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