So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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