One girl and one boy is just not enough.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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