Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
