I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
