Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
