I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
