Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
