Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
