Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
