O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
