well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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