I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
